Wade's Entertaining but Unlikely Top 10 Mock Draft

This is my mock draft, I tried to make it different (and funny) but still (slightly) logical, please enjoy!

1. Houston Texans

Houston knows who their man is, they have said as much, but the pick could literally be ANYONE!

The Pick:  Johnny Manziel:

The Texans are one quarterback away from competing for the AFC South title right?  No obviously not, they have the first overall pick for a reason.  But despite this the Texans take a chance on an exciting player who will bring youth and energy to the franchise.  He will be their quarterback next year. (likely not)

 

2. Detroit Lions (from St. Louis Rams) (from Washington Redskins) 

TRADE TO THE DETROIT LIONS (They are serious about trading up!)

The St. Louis Rams receive:

Pick #10 (1st Round)

Pick #45 (2nd Round)

Pick #111 (4th Round)

Pick #133 (4th Round)

2nd Round Pick (2015 draft)

The Pick:  Sammy Watkins:

Despite the Lions showing interest in almost every single top prospect the only one that would be able to take this team to the next level is Sammy Watkins. Even if Watkins doesn't turn out as advertised, I am rather sure Calvin Johnson can make anybody look good. (This could actually happen)

3. Jacksonville Jaguars 

The Jaguars are shocked that all world athlete and potential super star Jadeveon Clowney is still on the board, the Jags take all of the time allowed as they are madly fielding trade calls from all around the league while simultaneously attempting make the worst possible choice as to continue the streak of mediocrity that they seem to be so keen on.  In the end, their is now way they can muck this one up.

The Pick:  Jadeveon Clowney

Not much to say about this pick, its a no-brainer even in a wonky mock draft such as this.  There is no way that even the Jags could mess this up.

4. Cleveland Browns 

The Browns front office has been a mess recently (and by that I mean since they rejoined the NFL), it might be better if Kevin Costner was running this organization.

The Pick:  Khalil Mack

Just one year removed from taking pass rushing specialist Barkevious Mingo (best name ever), the Browns once again add a talented pass rusher to an already stout defense in hope that he will take them to the next level.

5. Oakland Raiders 

The Oakland Raiders are the suprise team for 2014, you heard it here first.  The way they are approaching this off-season is GENIUS, but that is for another post. It is only suiting then that the Raiders botch the draft after a spectacular under the radar off-season.

The Pick:  Dri Archer

Mark Davis honors his father's memory in my universe by selecting the fastest player in the draft.  He will be a FANTASTIC Kick Returner and he is more durable then Darren McFadden.

 6. Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons are a good team, and good teams make good choices.  The Falcons are besides themselves that the Offensive Tackles are untouched and are commending themselves for not trading up.

The Pick:  Greg Robinson 

The Falcons in years past have been AWFUL in recent years when it comes to running the ball, the turbo athletic Robinson fixes that issue immediately.  While he is not yet a great pass protector his potential to be warrants the early selection.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

While I wish could have the Bucs draft a quarterback, they have Josh McCown and none are worth taking so early in a draft like this.

The Pick:  Mike Evans

With Mike Evans and Vincent Jackson on the outside Ryan Leaf could have gone to the Hall of Fame.  The only team that might be able to stand in their way would be those highly paid Seahawks DB's.

8. Miami Dolphins (from Minnesota Vikings) 

TRADE TO THE MIAMI DOLPHINS (This is my world, I can do what I want)

The Minnesota Vikings Receive:

Pick #19

Pick #50

Pick #81

Pick #155

2rd Round Pick (2015 draft)

4th Round Pick (2015 draft)

The Pick:  Jake Matthews

The Dolphins are surprised by the fact that the most pro-ready Tackle is still on the board and they over slightly overpay for a plug-and-play elite level Tackle.

9. Buffalo Bills 

After the selection of E.J. Manuel last year the Bills need to add playmakers.  

The Pick:  Eric Ebron

Ebron the speedster reminds me of Vernon Davis and would give the Bills a big time playmaking Tight End that can exploit Miamis constantly poor LB's.

10. St. Louis Rams (from Detroit Lions) 

Following the trend that the NFC West has set with this pick the Rams continue to improve a stingy defense.

The Pick:  Anthony Barr

With Barr he not only brings great backside pursuit but also just continues to add to the relentless pass rush of the Rams front 7.